Thank you for being you!

You guys are all great, thank you for the calls, emails and words of encouragement! More than anything thank you for your prayers. I was so hesitant to write that I am struggling, but now I am glad that I did because of your loving responses.

Yesterday I had a surprise three hours off when my sweet nieces Hettie and Alex came over to play with the girls. It was their last day of school holidays and it was so sweet of them to spend it with their little cousins. I had a nice long lunch with my dear friend Julia and ran a few errands all by myself and it was lovely and refreshing. Though it was quite cold the sun was out, and for me that makes all the difference in the world!!!

Dugald went to Auckland yesterday on business and wasn't supposed to be home until 10:30 pm, but they were/are forecasting a big storm - high, high winds, rain and cold - so he managed to get on an earlier flight and was home by 8:30 pm to tell the children goodnight. I was worried he wasn't going to get home at all for a few days so I'm glad he beat the weather.

That's really all from here - I went shopping yesterday and the grocery store was packed with people all talking about the storm, it felt a bit like Florida preparing for a hurricane! Since Dugald still wasn't home and I wasn't sure he would get back I stocked up on food and bought enough for the entire weekend. That may sound like no big deal but if you could see the size of my refrigerator you'd understand why it never happens. I got home and had to really work to get everything put away. By the way, just a curious aside, New Zealanders don't put their eggs in the refrigerator! They aren't even refrigerated at the grocery store.  .   . 

Thanks again for all of your love and support!!! Hugs to everyone.

I made this on the computer today, if you'd like to give it a go link to www.wordle.net and you can create your own. I couldn't get it to upload at normal size, so if you'd like a better look just click on the image and it will enlarge it.

Thoughts

Moving is hard. It's harder than I remembered when I contemplated this move. It's harder now that I have a family. Yes it's an adventure, but it sure can be exhausting physically, mentally and spiritually. I can't do it in my strength. I'm learning more about what it means to rest in God, but I am not there yet.



Some of you have said that in reading this blog it sounds like we've moved right into a fairytale. Well, it's been wonderful for sure, but I will say that normally I try to only blog about the good things. There are hard things too, as I am sure you must realize. I'm not sure if I will even post this, it's scary for me to be so vulnerable. I also don't want to come across as weak, as ungrateful, as unable to cope. I'm just having a hard time. My pride makes it hard for me to remove the mask and let you see the struggle.



I miss the familiarity of America. I've moved a lot, I've lived in Mississippi, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina and Texas. But with every move the basics stayed the same - same road rules, same shops, same grocery stores (or at least the same products). I also had shared experiences with the culture despite the state - I understood the politics, the religious affiliations, the social fabric of a community. I feel like I don't understand any of that here. I am totally and completely out of my element and that rocks my world because I like control, I like planning, I like routine. I don't really like learning curves that go on for too long. I fear being the one my children look to for their emotional compass, because sometimes I'm sad. I don't like feeling so alone. So I am struggling with those things.



In my quiet time I was reminded of these words of Jesus from The Message in Mark 8:



"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering, embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how."



I am not in control of my life, ever. I need this gentle reminder to let Him lead.



In Matthew 11 "Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you." Those are Jesus' words. They are true. I believe them. I am embracing this God-life as I know how. Help me Lord when it feels too much to not give up, but to open my arms wider and embrace more of You.



I am being stretched in my relationships too - my relationship with God especially. Is He really enough for me? I believe that He is, I have always believed that, but now I'm having to walk in in the reality of it for a season. Again. I've been through periods of loneliness before. Sure we've made some friends, but friendships take time to develop and we're only just starting. I have a great husband too, but I don't see him as much as I used to or as much as I feel like I need. I am mourning the loss of a lifestyle that I took for granted. Life is harder here because of its unfamiliarity, because of the increased physical demands, because of choices we've made. Jesus says, "You're blessed when the tears flow freely. Joy comes with the morning." Luke 6.



Again, in my quiet time God gently speaks to my heart. In Mark 6 when the disciples interrupted Jesus' teaching because it was getting late and the people would need food Jesus told them, "You do it. Fix supper for them." They were baffled - there were 5000 people and only five loaves of bread. But Jesus blessed the food, started passing it out, and there was plenty - leftovers even. Again in Mark 8 Jesus tells the disciples to feed his listeners and AGAIN they ask him how. Two chapters ago they saw Him miraculously provide above and beyond what they needed. I love that. It's not just me that has to learn the same lessons, or see God at work in my life in miraculous ways over and over. We are like sheep. God graciously included these stories so I would know that I am not alone. Thank You sweet Lord.



I don't know why I am sharing all this here. I think I'd like to ask those of you who pray to please pray for me. God is faithful and He is with me and I know His joy, the kind that isn't dictated by circumstances, so for that I am grateful. I don't know how it's even possible to get through this life without Him. I am in a beautiful country, surrounded by kind people, part of a loving family. I am not alone. I wake up each day determined to look for the good, and it's never hard to find, but sometimes the relentlessness of the other things dampens my spirit, weakens my joy and batters my emotions. Sometimes I really do just want to go home.



Thank you for journeying with us through this blog, I can't even begin to tell you what a blessing and encouragement it is to me when you tell me you are keeping up with us this way. I feel like we aren't forgotten and I feel a little less alone. I hope to be faithful to what God has called us to, I hope to be a helpmeet to my husband, I hope to model for my children how to walk with God and in His joy even when things are hard. I want to create a home that is warm, inviting, joyful, stimulating . . .a place where the presence of God is felt and where people feel loved. I'm not there yet. . .



"Why are you so polite with me, always saying 'Yes, sir', and 'That's right,sir,' but never doing a thing I tell you? These words I speak to you are not mere additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundation words, words to build a life on." Luke 6. Lord I want to work your words into my life. I want to be changed by You. I want You - Your Words, Your ways, to be my foundation, my cornerstone, my rock. Lord I am guilty of being "polite" and then just doing my own thing. Please forgive me. Your words are hard- they go against my sinful self-interest and self-promotion. It is not "natural" for me to be who You created and desire for me to be - it is supernatural. Work in me by Your Holy Spirit I pray.

All Aboard!

This weekend we took the girls to visit the m/v Doulos docked in Wellington Harbour. It was such fun taking them onboard for a tour, the ship reminds us both of the Anastasis where we met. Surprisingly, at least to me, the Doulos is about 30 years older than the Anastasis. 

Just being at the port, walking the gangplank and being onboard a ship brought back a flood of memories! The ship even smelled much the same as the Anastasis, a mix of seawater, diesel fuel and old age I suppose, but a smell I remember fondly. The girls were a bit apprehensive just walking up the gangway, and they remained slightly nervous going up and down stairs throughout our tour. 

These photos are out of order because of my inferior uploading skills, but anyway here is Katie getting her "Passport" stamped by our lovely South African tour guide.

The girls all at the lookout. . .
And on the bridge. . .


On the dock with daddy and the best shot I could get of the ship which doesn't really do it justice . . .
Walking, carefully, up the gangway. . .
Overlooking the bow. . .
Getting our "Visitor" passes for our tour. . .
A view off starboard of Wellington Harbour.
It was so fun sharing this experience with our little ones who wouldn't even have been here if we hadn't served with Mercy Ships. We all came home with visions of serving on the African Mercy at some stage. . . is this of God??? 

I got my new computer, my new Macintosh computer (does anyone say Macintosh anymore? Or is it just Mac now?) and I am LOVING it! I haven't been this excited about a new toy since my dad gave me my camera (a digital Canon Rebel that I love, love, love). I'm having to learn how to use a Mac all over again but it is fairly intuitive and it's coming back to me pretty quickly. Plus Macs have the best packaging ever. I am a salesman's dream when it comes to pretty packaging and Mac does it very well.  I should have taken a picture of the size of my PC and the size of my new Mac. Instead of sitting on the floor in all it's hugeness, the little box sits right on my desk taking up very little space and accumulating very little dust which is a miracle in this house. I wish I had bought a new screen as well, with the camera built right in, but my screen didn't break so hopefully the computer master (Dugs) can get my Logitech camera to work with this system so we can soon Skype again. 

I have piles of old videos from our video camera that I need to burn to DVD and last night I pulled one out and uploaded it to the computer to see how it all works. It was so easy!! I am ecstatic and the girls were loving getting to watch home movies again. I may even get fancy and put a clip in here just for fun. I may get tripped up trying to upload it to blogger, but if I do I'll just start an imac video page and send those of you who are interested the link. Such fun.

Today we officially started our new school year. I have a schedule all typed out and for the most part we are doing well sticking to it. However, and this is a problem, this is my exercise time and here I am blogging. Meggie and I did take the dog on a 45 minute walk this morning before Dugald left for work so I am sort of counting that. I'm going to have to ease back in to working out I think. 

It's beautiful here today - the sun is shining!! I wanted to get out and rake up leaves in our garden but I didn't have time for that built into our schedule so I was a little ferklempt (spelling?) as to how I could get it all done when I had the bright idea of having Meggie and Katie make lunch for everyone. I asked them if they would do it and they were pretty darn excited about the challenge so I raked while they made lunch without any help at all from me. Poor Meggie has a few small cuts on her fingers from trying to cut the carrots, but other than that they did a fantastic job. 

That's it from us! Lots of love to all . . .

I gave in

I was having a little contest with myself to see how long I could go without getting my hair done. I've only had it done once since we moved here in January and I wasn't that thrilled, so I was putting it off. I should say I wasn't that thrilled and it cost a fortune. 

I made it until two weeks ago when I could stand the grey no longer and bought some bottled color at the grocery store. The girls and I had big fun doing it while Dugald was away, and when he returned I had light brown hair. All over. The problem was I must not have left it on long enough because I was still seeing grey hair all over the place. And my thick hair was getting puffier by the minute. It is so thick that whenever I get it cut they have to thin it out for me and that had not been done in a loooonnnggg time so I was looking pretty scary. I should have taken a before picture, but it wouldn't have been that impressive since I've been wearing it in a ponytail constantly.

All that to say, and I realize this is getting wordy, I tried a new place today. It was the last day of the school holidays and therefore my final opportunity to have a daytime babysitter so I booked an appointment at the last minute and was scheduled with the new girl (of course).

So, it was with a bit of fear and trepidation that I got on the bus and headed downtown for another stab at getting a haircut I liked. The fear and trepidation had to do with the cost, obviously I'm not too worried about wearing hair that looks horrible since I've been doing that for months. 

Olivia, that's her name, was great! I mean she did a good job fixing the mess I'd made of my hair, but what was really great was that she was so fun to talk to, I feel like I have a new friend. And, and this is the VERY best part, she offered to walk the dog, asked if she could even! For free!! Yippeee!!!! She doesn't live too far from us, she's in Kelburn, and she loves animals and recently had to put down the dog she'd had since she was 14. I am elated - not about her dog, but about her interest in ours. 

Another great thing - she and her husband just moved back to Wellington from Auckland and so they are staying at her parent's house for awhile while they get re-settled. I asked if they might be interested in house,dog and cat-sitting sometime and she said of course she'd love too. Now if we can just pry Dugald away from his job we can go away knowing the animals will be well looked after. 

Dugald came and saw me and brought me lunch while I was getting all done (I was there for hours) because his office is just across the street from the hairdresser. It was fun to see him in the middle of the day and he got to meet Olivia. When I chatted with him later to tell him all this exciting news and give him the rundown on her family it turned out he knows who her father is, he was with TVNZ for awhile so he's pretty well-known (except of course to me).

After my hair appointment I met up with Dugald again and we went to see the Doulos which is docked at Wellington Harbour and reminds us of our time on the Anastasis. The ship must be from the same era because they really do look alike. There was a big book sale onboard so I went for a browse since I still can't get over book prices here. The prices were a lot more reasonable but the books were all pretty old and I already had, or had read, everything they were selling that I was interested in so I went away empty handed but it was still fun.

All in all I was gone for most of the day which was a lovely break and I got to do some grown-up things without my little darlings. I came home refreshed and much better looking and ready to dive in and start our new school year next week. Woo hoo!

I am from. . .

I am from flip-flops and sand between your toes, Evinrude motors and warm sunshiny days.

I am from warm colors, the smell of  the sea, scrubbed pine floors and gentle breezes. 

I am from palm trees and sea grass, seagulls and pelicans, the sound of waves lapping the shore. 

I am from big family gatherings, great southern food, boating and biking and backyard barbecues.

I am from a home full of laughter, tears, joys and sorrows, the sounds of family.

I am from those who celebrate together, grieve together, and get together for no reason at all 

From "Be nice to your sister, she's the best friend you'll ever have." to "Because I'm the mom, that's why."

I am from those who fear God, who worship Him in the most formal tradition, who reverence Him. He has always been a part of my life.

I am from Mississippi, Florida and now the world. 

I am from fried snook, smoked mullet, conch fritters , crabcakes, greek salad, stone crabs and key lime pie.

From the lineage of he who keeps the world safe from crime and she who makes the world a place we want to be. 

From he who knows the peace and comfort of the sea and she who knows the peace and comfort of the Lord.

I am from that place in the heart that is only remembered fondly, the memory of which is sacred, and the re-creation of which is but a dream.

Oh-ba-dee-Oh-ba-da

Life goes on. . . la la la la life goes on.



If you don't know that song I'm sorry, I just can't get it out of my head for some strange reason. Probably because I don't have much to post about. . . our life is going on. . . but it's all good.



It's week two of New Zealand school holidays, which means it's week two of Morrison half days. And week two of more relaxed days. I'm really glad the girls do the activities they do, and I'm always tempted to add more rather than drop any, but boy, these days of not having to be ANYwhere are welcome. I mean besides swimming. Our afternoons are nice and free. Today the girls and I took Rico for a long walk and stopped for hot chocolate along the way. We hit the post office (to send sweet baby Cassie a welcome to the world gift), the library (to return overdue books, oops), to the local Christian bookstore (had about 100 books in total, not kidding) and to Pippa's house to return socks. All in all very enjoyable.



We had a lovely Sunday after a blustery Saturday. It is not a good thing how much my level of optimism is tied to the weather. Sunday was good, no it was great. I love our church, I love the people we know that attend there, I love setting that day aside to worship and to rest. I just love it.



The children are all doing well - Ellie has mastered the potty, she can be trusted on long car trips, long walks, trips to the grocery store. Meggie is taking on more and more responsibility and liking it. Katie is keeping us all social. Josie LOVES school. Loves, loves, loves school. Dugald is over the current crisis at work. For now.



Oh-ba-dee-Oh-ba-da life goes on, la la la la life goes on. . .