Yesterday the girls had their swimming classes, which meant two and a half hours at the pool for me. Ellie's lesson is first and she didn't like the bathing suit I'd brought for her so she had a big fit (like last week) and ended up missing her lesson because she refused to stop screaming. I was glad I was surrounded by understanding mothers, and a few chuckling lifeguards, because I was not giving in and so she was making quite a ruckus. Oh my girl. I do love her so very much, but I am just about at my wit's end. I am of two minds as to how to handle her -- the one I'm going with at the moment is to try to correct the mistaken notion she has of being in charge by allowing her no choices. Until she can respect that I am the boss and she must do as I say she will not be allowed to make her own choices about much of anything - breakfast, clothes, what she wants to drink, etc. If this doesn't work soon I'm going for the "picking my battles" method. I'm sure I will get fewer fits that way, but if ever I do make her do something she doesn't want to do it's sure to get ugly. Motherhood is ever so humbling.
The day before the fit at the pool we were walking the big girls to their Musical Stars program which is held at a church about a kilometer away. We were almost halfway there when Ellie ran out into a parking lot full of cars coming and going picking up their children from school. I told her she was going to have to hold my hand and she had a full-blown fit. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, sitting down in the parking lot and making the biggest scene ever. I scooped her up and did my level best to hold onto her but she was so wiggly and at three-years-old a little tricky to hold onto, so I let her down and held tightly to her hand so she couldn't pull away and get into the street, she was screaming the entire time "You're hurting me". It was exhausting. She continued this way the entire way there and back to our house again.
I was praying the entire way there and back that God would give me wisdom as to how best to handle this child. I obviously am not doing such a fantastic job and things seem to be escalating. I thought about how she is often treated like her sisters and given the freedoms and privileges they get even though she is only three and that's when I decided upon the fewer choices method. But I also thought about how like her I am right now in my relationship with God. It's like I'm the three-year-old kicking and screaming that He's hurting me and He is just calmly holding my hand tightly to keep me from danger, even though I just don't get it.
I think Ellie also is still dealing with all the change in her life, and just yesterday she said she missed Rico. Dugald's been extremely busy at work so she hasn't seen him much either. And let's face it, after those two Mommy is just sloppy seconds as far as she's concerned. Smile.
On a more fun note, after swimming we went over to Rob and Liz's to have tea. Kate and Wills were in Wellington (from Auckland) to look at Victoria University for Wills and so we went to see them too. It was such a lovely afternoon just hanging out and relaxing. I was especially grateful for the adult company since Dugald was in Auckland on business. We got to see Liz's new dress shop, Harry's, which opens in about a week and is going to be so lovely. The girls got to play with an absolute ton of Groovy Girls dolls and Beanie Babies, and even more exciting, Rob and Liz's dogs had arrived at long last from Hong Kong and are just adorable. We were only going to stay a few hours but ended up staying for dinner. Dugald's plane got in about 7:30 pm and since Rob and Liz are so close to the airport he came over for a glass of wine and we watched the olympics a bit, and finally left around 8:30 pm.
Then last night we had Kate and Wills over here for dinner. Poor Wills, he still isn't completely well. He gets tired quite easily and he just can't eat very much. He's very tall - 6'4" or something - and very thin. We're still praying for his complete recovery from all he's been through this year. We loved hanging out with them and hearing his future plans. It was fun how they had changed from the previous night after his visit to the university. At first studying law held no interest for him, but after visiting and hearing the students' presentation he now thinks he might quite like to study that.
That's really all from here, it's a beautiful, sunny Saturday and Meggie has a soccer game - her first one in weeks that hasn't been cancelled due to rain or wet fields. Dugald and I are actually having a date tonight, the first time in months because of his crazy schedule, so I'm excited about that! Have a wonderful weekend.
1 comment:
So many new things to read about. I am thankful to hear of all the new experiences, family and friends that you are able to be around. I know that the new can be wearying at times, but what a blessing at the same time. Just keep taking as they come - you are doing great as a mom!
coming from one with another strong almost 3 yr old - I'd go with the pick your battles carefully! Choices are such an important thing at this age. You always do such a beautiful job with those girls.
Much love.... Lori
Post a Comment